


Strange Bedfellows

by DeadGrrl



Category: Askewniverse, Dogma (1999)
Genre: Angst, First Time, Language, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 21:50:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7481295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadGrrl/pseuds/DeadGrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after Dogma. Angst, sweet angst and comfort in the arms of another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange Bedfellows

**Author's Note:**

> Series/Sequel: No series, just my one going obsession with the slashy nature of two stoners.
> 
> Disclaimers: In concept, it all belongs to Kevin Smith - Jay, Silent Bob, and Dogma. I'm just borrowing them for my own secret pleasures but promise to return them unharmed… but sated.
> 
> This had no beta, so corrections are welcome.
> 
> Parting Remark: "It's Smith's World… And I'm gonna slash it."

Strange Bedfellows  
By DeadGrrl

"Chasing Amy ..." Bob murmured as they walked toward Quick Stop, having dropped Bethany off at the train station.

"Again with this Amy bitch..." Jay rolled his eyes, trying to guess at exactly what this had to do with anything. He swore sometime Silent Bob just pulled this stuff outta his ass…

"It was a representation of the situation-not an actual person." Silent Bob told him softly.

"What? There was no Amy?" Jay stopped.

"Not in that incarnation." Bob replied as he turned and looked at his companion.

"Well, what the fuck were you talking about?" Jay asked, anger in his voice. What the fuck was going on?

"The situation where I feel dreadfully inadequate, were I'm letting my feelings of inadequacy, my fear, stand between me and what I want." Bob told him softly.

"Really."

Bob nodded his head. They were heading towards dangerous ground, better to shut up now.

Jay looked carefully at Bob. "Seems to me that the only thing 'inadequate' about you is your ability to express yourself more often."

Bob gave a smile.

"Just telling it like it is big guy. Other than that you're perfect." Jay looked at him again, his face unreadable.

Silent Bob glanced at his friend. Thanks.

"Your welcome. I know you're almost perfect anyway. Damn shame that you're chicken shit, and never could get up enough nerve to tell me, or give me some clue that you might actually want something more than, what has been up to now, the best friendship I have ever had. Or maybe you could have done something really obvious, like make lewd and suggestive comments. Or maybe have even done something drastic like kiss me or something. Or just said 'Hey Jay, let's get it on'." 

Bob coughed violently on the cigarette smoke he had just swallowed, interrupteing Jay's thought. Jay nonchalantly pounded Bob on the back, waiting until the coughing subsided and continued while looking directly at an extremely flabbergasted and really Silent Bob. "Or you could have just come up to me like this," Jay stepped into Bob's personal space, "and done this." He concluded as he leaned over he kissed Bob softly on the lips for a very brief moment, and then leaned back. Jay gave a strange smile, "And said 'I love man, can I have your Miller Lite?' Nootch." Jay finished with a smirk and a wink.

Bob stared at Jay, with unformed words.

"I don't know about you, but I need get something to eat. I'm going to stop at the Quick Stop. I'll see you later." Jay turned and walked away from Silent Bob. Jay felt light headed as he walked away from Bob, having almost completely spilled his guts. Thank god he had had a good recovery at the end there. He'd covered, that’s all that mattered… Still, he felt like he was going to hurl.

The walk to Quick Stop seem shorter than he remembered, seeing as how he had figured he should have been calmed down somewhat, only he didn't feel calmed down at all.

Walking into the old convenience store Jay felt a silent hand of doom come for him. He had blown it. It was over.

Dante glanced up. "Jay, how's going?" 

Jay didn't respond. He stopped in place in held his head in his hands. 

When no reply was forthcoming Dante looked up again "Jay?" Seeing the stoner's posture, he assumed one of two things had happened. Either the dealer was sampling some of his own product or something happen to Bob. As little as Dante knew Jay he knew of those two focuses his life. "Jay?" Dante prompted again.

"I'm so stupid." Jay whispered himself. Dante however, caught it and eliminated one of his choices. Should he ask? Randal was always on him about how he was too closed off. But Jay wasn't a friend, just a customer who, who happen to be crying, Dante realized horrified.

Coming around counter Dante flipped the sign to close, pulled the shade and locked the door. It'll only be for ten minutes, he promised himself.

Turning around he was faced with the shaking shoulders of someone he barely knew. Ah, fuck it, he thought to himself and approached the front of the young man. Gently taking Jay's arms and pulling his hands down Dante looked upon Jay with sympathy. Jay's face was contorted, trying to control himself. Tears had already pushed past tightly shut eye lids, and his mouth was set in a hard line.

Praying he wasn't about to be punched out he put a hand on Jay’s shoulder and said, "It's okay… It'll be all right." Jay's response shocked Dante as he placed his head on his shoulders and continued to silently cry.

Feeling like a complete ass, Dante patted the sobbing shoulders and just stood there being cried on. I sure the fuck hope I get credit for this shit, Dante thought to himself, and immediately realized how foolish that sounded. Who was he going to tell? Jay would kick his ass and Silent Bob would flatten him if this ever got out… But he'd probably tell Randal. Randal wouldn't say anything. 

Long moments passed as Dante just held loosely onto Jay, letting him cry, the quiet sobs almost inaudible. He stroked Jay's back and the blond hair that hung in loose waves. Trying not to sigh, Dante figured he'd ask since if someone's going to cry on you, you should at least have the honor of knowing what for.

"What happened?" Dante ventured softly, as Jay's shaking lessened. The dampness on Dante's shoulder was noticeable as Jay pulled his head away. The story that followed, if one could believe Jay, was incredible. It was an unbelievable mixture of adventure, excitement and danger. Dante didn't know were or from whom Jay had got his shit from, but it must be good quality to have produced that tale…

Except the last part about Bob. That sounded believable enough.

"So you love him?" Dante asked Jay, who had finally stopped the waterworks. They sat together behind the counter as Jay smoked a cigarette.

"Yeah, I know, how stupid, huh?" Jay murmured more to himself than to Dante.

"No, not at all. I think you're lucky to have figured out who it is you want… Some people spend their entire lives looking…" Dante trailed off, becoming uncomfortable with the subject suddenly, as if his mind gently slipped over something that was important. Shaking off the sensation he looked back Jay, who looked miserable.

"Yeah, but it's fucked now… I had to shoot my mouth off…" Jay continued.

"You just told him the truth."

Jay gave him a sardonic look and lit up another cigarette. Dante fanned the smoke away from him futility. Jay had been chain-smoking and the entire back counter looked like a fog machine on overload.

"Okay, so you told him that you were aware of it…"

"And kissed him." Jay added.

"You kissed him?" Dante asked, shocked.

"Yeah." Jay looked away, with a small smile, in fond remembrance.

"Wow. Really? Wow." Dante's mind wrapped around the mental picture of Jay and Silent Bob sucking face…

"Just a small kiss." Jay sighed to himself, in what sounded like regret.

"What was it like?" Dante heard himself asking, and shocked he even uttered the question aloud.

Jay rolled his eyes, "Like kissing a girl, you moron… Only about a thousand times better." Jay rubbed his hand over his eyes briefly.

"Wow." Dante concluded.

"So you've said, you verbose motherfucker."

"I'm just surprised, I guess. I don't know any guys who have kissed other guys…" Dante's voice was starting to pick up speed, as if he were nervous. 

Jay snorted at this.

"No I mean, I guess I always wondered, you know, not that I'm gay but just wondered…" Dante was aware of the fact that he was now babbling. He suddenly became nervous, as if Jay had transformed from 'neighborhood stoner' to 'the guy kisser'.

Jay astutely observed this and replied, "Easy, Dante. I'm not gonna lay one on you."

"No?" Dante's voice squeaked. He coughed. "Umm. Good." Dante gave a nervous smile and took a swig of his soda.

"Not unless you ask real nice." Jay concluded. Then he spent the next 30 seconds whacking Dante's back as the other man nearly coughed soda out of his nose.

"I gotta stop doing that," Jay mumbled to himself.

Dante could finally breathe again as he wiped his face on the sleeve of his shirt but felt like he was on the verge of hyperventilation. He picked up the previous thread of conversation. "Just wondered, didn't actually plan on asking…"

Dante's ramble was beginning to give Jay a headache so he quickly leaned over and kissed him. Dante's eyes shot wide open at the gentle kiss. Jay's lips lingered only a moment and then he broke it off.

"There, now you know, so shut the fuck up already." Jay concluded as he leaned over and stubbed out his cigarette. He looked back at Dante who appeared to be in shock, his jaw agape. "Close your mouth unless you want me to slip you some tongue…" Jay leered. Dante's mouth snapped shut quickly with an audible click. Jay smirked.

"You… You kissed me!" Dante yelled at Jay and gave him a shove.

"Oh, don't be such a sour fuck. What were you doing, saving yourself?" Jay retorted.

Dante opened his mouth and shut it suddenly. Jay's eyes perked up. "Motherfucker, am I on a fucking roll or what today? Who is it? Do I know him? I bet I can guess who…"

"Shut up." Dante replied in a quiet, stunned voice. He was not going to deal with this right then; there was no way he could possibly…

"Come on, you can tell me. I am the first boy you kissed…" Jay needled him.

"Against my will!" Dante yelled. Jay rolled his eyes.

"For fuck's sake, I kissed you, I didn't jump you. Now, who did you want to kiss you?"

Dante looked away, "We are not discussing this." Jay's hand was suddenly turning his head towards him. Dante was about to tell Jay to fuck off and instead lunged at Jay, covering his lips with his own. This time there was tongue, and some moaning, and some grouping for good measure.

"Jesus, I don't believe this," Dante sighed as he pulled off the stoner's hat. Jay's hands were already pulling up Dante's shirt and his mouth on his neck. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah… can we fuck now and talk later?" Jay voice was breathy as his hands were busily trying to strip Dante.

Dante stopped and looked at Jay, blond hair freed, lips swollen from rough kisses. "I'm going to regret this…" Dante started as his hands slide the jersey off of Jay's shoulders.

"Nah, what's his face will, because he didn't get you first." Jay replied as he tugged off Dante's shirt. It wasn't Bob, but after 3 days of being unable to jack off it could have been the fucking Easter bunny. Jay didn't care anymore. He wasn't going to get Bob, but he was going to get laid.

"Randal." Dante gasped noisily as Jay's lips closed on a nipple. 

Looking up, Jay replied with a smile, "Yeah, him. But screw 'em." With that Jay's hands found Dante's zipper, and suddenly his hands were on Dante's cock, and Dante knew he had lost the battle with his sensibilities. Jay's fingers wrapped around him and started a slow stroke as his other hand pushed him onto his back. Dante lay on his back, gasping and moaning.

"Oh god, oh god, please Jay…"

Jay's body leaned over him and the stoner smiled down at him sweetly. "Yes, Dante?" 

Dante hands grabbed Jay and pulled him down, their mouths locking as he kissed Jay. The pressure of Jay's hand was an unending torment and Dante felt the start of the approach of orgasm.

"Stop, stop…" Dante grabbed Jay's hand. Jay frowned at him. "I don't want to come yet…" Dante breathed heavily into Jay's neck, and resume his attempts to get Jay out of his clothes. "And you’re still overdressed…"

Dante yanked the shirt off the blond, and ran his hand across smooth pale skin. Jay shivered and kissed him again. "God, you're so soft," Dante murmured as he ran his hands down Jay's thin frame. 

"And I'm also hard, so can we quit with the bad romance novel lines?" Jay rolled his eyes as he pulled off Dante's jeans and boxers. The warmth of Dante erection prodded him and he reached to take him in hand. Dante way laid him by unzipping him and tugging at his clothing. Resigning to the fact that Dante was going to get him naked, Jay helped him with the removal of his jeans. 

Snagging a box of condoms off the shelf Jay pulled out one. Jay tore open the wrapped with his teeth and rolled the condom over his dick. Dante watched fascinated with the proceedings, and more so with how fast it was all happening.

"Lube… lube…"Jay was muttering as he glanced around. Spying a bottle of KY lotion he snagged it and squirted it in to his hand. Dante felt his breath increase as Jay approached him. "Spread 'em" Jay whispered as Dante did. The slick fingers were in him suddenly stroking.

"Oh, Jesus…" Dante moaned as Jay's fingers worked into him. Jay leaned forward and caught his mouth in a kiss. Dante thrust his tongue into Jay's mouth. The sensation of Jay's fingers and Jay's mouth had him hard and anxious; Jay broke off the kiss as he removed his fingers, and angled Dante's legs up. Positioning himself Jay bumped his cock to the tight opening. Dante's breath was coming in gasps. "Yeah, yeah, do it…" He panted. Jay gave a sweet, wicked smile and pushed.

Dante was so tight that Jay thought he'd come immediately. The tight muscle fought against him but finally stretched around his hard cock and Jay was completely embedded in Dante.

"Oh, fuck, yeah," Jay gasped and started to slowly pump in and out of the other man. 

Dante wasn't sure if sex was always supposed to be this good or if he just happened to luck out. Every movement of Jay's cock struck something deep inside him that shot a wave of mind-blowing pleasure through him. Dante felt nearly ready to cum. Reaching between his legs he began to pull at his dick as Jay continued to push into his ass. As Jay's rhythm picked up pace so did Dante hand. Orgasm approaching Dante gasped, "I'm gonna cum" as his hand pulled his cock hard. His orgasm crashed through him and out of him and all over himself and partially Jay.

Jay ignored this as he continued to fuck Dante. His eyes were closed and he was trying to focus on the thought of someone else. Someone he wouldn't just be pounding into. Someone that he'd be taking the time to make sure they enjoyed it to. Dante had already cum, and that was fine by Jay. Jay didn't give a fuck if Dante came or not. But he had to stop thinking about Dante and try to remember the person he really wanted…

Dante lie underneath Jay watching the stoner's serious expression and tightly closed eyes. Jay continued to push in and out of him, almost not acknowledging him. Dante thought he knew why and began to give encouraging moans, but deeper than his normal voice. No words, just small sounds, pitched lower…

Jay's hips increased speed, and he began to pant. Dante leaned forward and kissed Jay making sure to brush his face with his goatee. Jay gave a gasp and orgasmed, eyes still closed. Collapsing over Dante he panted into his neck and whispered "Bob…”

Dante's hands stroked the thin back as Jay continued to lie on top of him, trying to catch his breath. He kissed the blond hair and asked, "Better?"

Jay nodded his head. "Yeah… thanks for, well you know." 

Dante replied, "No problem. I'm sorry things weren't different…"

"Yeah, me too." The blond looked at Dante, sadness still in his eyes.

Dante cupped the smooth face and kissed Jay softly. No words were exchanged, just soft caresses and comfort. Jay let him, and took some solace in the moment, in the closeness. It might not be what he wanted, it sure wasn't who he wanted, but for a brief moment he didn't feel so god-awful alone. So, that was ok.

END


End file.
